Sunday 16 December 2012

Priscilla Presley's up for a laugh in Panto + guide to the best ones


Mrs Presley in panto? Oh yes she is! And Priscilla's not the only star who's dame for a laugh


Elvis' evil queen: Priscilla Presley stars as the Wicked Queen in Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs at the New Wimbledon Theatre
Elvis' evil queen: Priscilla Presley stars as the Wicked Queen in Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs at the New Wimbledon Theatre
It’s panto time again - oh yes it is! - and almost every city and many of even the smallest towns are putting on their own traditional shows. Here, Patrick Marmion selects some of the best:

ALADDIN
WHERE? The Theatre at the O2, London, (0161 385 1000, www.theo2.co.uk).
WHEN? Until January 5.
STAR ATTRACTION? Lily Savage.
WHAT’S IN THE STOCKING? Paul O’Grady has revived his drag queen alter ego Lily Savage to give us her Widow Twankey and take charge of the Chinese laundry which she runs with her good-for-nothing son Wishee Washee.
The show is in a specially erected 1,900-seat tent alongside the O2, so make sure you don’t stray into the wrong venue and get eaten by a T-Rex from the other big attraction, Walking With Dinosaurs.
AUSTERITY FACTOR: £19.50-£49.50.

ROBIN HOOD AND HIS MERRY MAM
WHERE? York Theatre Royal, (01904 623 568, www.yorktheatreroyal.co.uk).
WHEN? Until February 2.
STAR ATTRACTION? Berwick Kaler.
WHAT’S IN THE STOCKING? Berwick Kaler is Yorkshire’s pantodame colossus. He is the Lawrence Dallaglio of the heaving brassiere. He’s been in 40 pantos, 34 of them in York.
As Robin Hood’s meddling Mam, expect Berwick to deliver honest-to-goodness ‘historically incorrect’ panto with no joke too corny and no bosom knowingly under-stuffed. He writes, directs, stars in and commands a panto audience like no one north of Watford Gap.
AUSTERITY FACTOR: £10-£26

PETER PAN
WHERE? Manchester Opera House  (0844 871 3018).
WHEN? Until January 13.
STAR ATTRACTION? David Hasselhoff, Tam Ryan, Amy Bird.
WHAT’S IN THE STOCKING? Legendary Eighties TV actor ‘The (surgically modified) Hoff’ trades his Baywatch swimming trunks for an eye patch, a shiny hook and a great big curly wig. The cast includes Tam Ryan (best known as Emmerdale’s no-nonsense schoolteacher Mr Duggan) and Amy Bird as Peter flying from the rafters.
AUSTERITY FACTOR: £10-£35.

SNOW WHITE & THE SEVEN DWARFS
WHERE? New Wimbledon Theatre,  London (0844 8717 646).
WHEN? Until January 13.
STAR ATTRACTION? Priscilla Presley, Warwick Davis and Jarred Christmas.
WHAT’S IN THE STOCKING? Following the twin wonders of Pamela Anderson three years ago and the singular wit of Barry Humphries last year, the ex-wife of Elvis ‘The King’ Presley foolishly — I mean bravely — offers herself as a seasonal sacrifice to the people of Wimbledon.
She is the Wicked Queen alongside the feisty Warwick Davis as the Chief Dwarf and Jarred Christmas from TV’s Mock The Week as Herman the Henchman.
AUSTERITY FACTOR: £11.90-£38.25.

    ROBINSON CRUSOE & THE CARIBBEAN PIRATES
    WHERE? Birmingham Hippodrome, (0844 338 5000, www.birminghamhippodrome.com).
    WHEN? December 17-January 29.
    STAR ATTRACTION? Brian Conley and  Lesley Joseph.
    WHAT’S IN THE STOCKING? Fresh from I’m A Celebrity’s jungle, Brian Conley is spared no pain and is sent straight off to spend Christmas on a desert island as Robinson Crusoe without so much as a mince pie. Happily, he’s got Lesley Joseph as the Enchantress of the Ocean and a welter of custard pies for company.
    AUSTERITY FACTOR: £14-£37.50.
    Festive pirates: Brian Conley in Robinson Crusoe & The Caribbean Pirates at the Birmingham Hippodrome
    Festive pirates: Brian Conley in Robinson Crusoe & The Caribbean Pirates at the Birmingham Hippodrome
    SLEEPING BEAUTY
    WHERE? Cardiff New Theatre (029 2087 8889, www.newtheatrecardiff.co.uk).
    WHEN? Until January 20.
    STAR ATTRACTION? Joe Pasquale, Ceri Dupree and Lucy Evans.
    WHAT’S IN THE STOCKING? Nerdy, nasally TV comedian Joe Pasquale is the lovable buffoon, Muddles, and Ceri Dupree lays on the bawdier laughs as the saucy pantodame, Queen Passionella.
    But she’ll surely also be doing some of her glorious impersonations of the world’s pop divas from Tina Turner to Wales’s own, Shirley Bassey. Lucy Evans (barmaid Lauren Wilson from Coronation Street) provides the sleeping love interest.
    AUSTERITY FACTOR: £9.50-£23.

    SNOW WHITE & THE SEVEN DWARFS
    WHERE? Wycombe Swan Theatre, High Wycombe, Bucks. (01494 512000, www.wycombeswan.co.uk).
    WHEN? Until January 5
    WHO’S BEHIND IT? Craig Revel Horwood and Ann Widdecombe.
    WHAT’S IN THE STOCKING? A ‘Strictly wicked’ re-run of last year’s panto-pairing in Dartford. Widdy once more finds herself shackled to her acid-tongued nemesis, Craig Revel Horwood. Will they or won’t they find it in their hearts to make up and tango?
    We’re promised ‘pirouettes and put downs, waltzing and wit’, but who will wipe the floor with whom? Craig is, of course, the Wicked Queen.
    AUSTERITY FACTOR: £14.50-£29.50.

    Peter Pan: David Hasselhoff plays Captain Hook in Manchester
    Peter Pan-to: David Hasselhoff plays Captain Hook in Manchester
    DICK WHITTINGTON
    WHERE? Plymouth Theatre Royal, (01752 267 222, www.theatre royal.com).
    WHEN? Today until January 19.
    STAR ATTRACTION? Christopher Biggins, Basil Brush and Hilary O’Neil.
    WHAT’S IN THE STOCKING? One of the biggest, campest of all the nation’s great dames, Christopher Biggins is panto royalty. But as Sarah the Cook he’ll have his work cut out to keep on top of Basil Brush as Alderman Foxwarren. (Boom! Boom! Do you get it boys and girls!?)
    Hilary O’Neil as the Spirit of the Bells will do well to get a word in edgeways between the two of them. Ooh and by the way, Santa’s favourite pizza? Deep pan, crisp and even, of course. Boom! Boom!
    AUSTERITY FACTOR: £10-£26

    JACK & THE BEANSTALK
    WHERE? Mayflower, Southampton (02380 711 811, www.mayflower. org.uk).
    WHEN? December 22-January 19.
    STAR ATTRACTION? Julian Clary, Lee Mead, Nigel Havers, Paul Zerdin and Jeffrey Holland.
    WHAT’S IN THE STOCKING? Julian Clary is the Spirit of the Beans and one of the classiest, campest acts in one of the top pantos in the country. With more celebrity fruits than Delia’s Christmas pudding, the cast includes West End star Lee Mead and Nigel Havers as Fleshcreep.
    Paul Zerdin does his ventriloquism and Hi-De-Hi! veteran Jeffrey Holland plays the Dame in a 3D enchanted forest.
    AUSTERITY FACTOR: £14-£35.

    DICK WHITTINGTON AND HIS CAT
    WHERE? Hackney Empire, London (020 8985 2424, www.hackneyempire.co.uk).
    WHEN? Until January 6.
    STAR ATTRACTION? Joanna Riding and Steve Elias
    WHAT’S IN THE STOCKING? No Clive Rowe this year (you can catch him in Kiss Me Kate at the Old Vic). But Steve Elias’s Sarah the Cook is sure to be just as big, loud and outrageous. Joanna Riding’s hearty Dick will doubtless win over the tiny tots. And besides, the Empire always lays on one of the best pantomimes in London if not the country thanks to writer-director Susie McKenna.
    AUSTERITY FACTOR: £10-£29.50.
    Panto royalty: Christopher Biggins as Sarah The Cook in Dick Whittington at Theatre Royal, Plymouth
    Panto royalty: Christopher Biggins as Sarah The Cook in Dick Whittington at Theatre Royal, Plymouth

    CINDERELLA
    WHERE? Nottingham Theatre Royal (0115 989 5555, www.trch. co.uk).
    WHEN? Until January 13.
    STAR ATTRACTION? John Partridge, Sheila Ferguson and the Grumbleweeds.
    WHAT’S IN THE STOCKING? John Partridge, better known as Christian Clarke in EastEnders and a judge on Over The Rainbow, stars as a somewhat mature (and teeny bit camp?) Prince Charming. Meanwhile, former Three Degree Sheila Ferguson will be adding glam as Cinders’s Fairy Godmother.
    But Graham Walker and Robin Colvill’s Yorkshire pub comedians The Grumbleweeds are sure to keep proceedings right down to earth.
    AUSTERITY FACTOR: £13.50-£27.50.

    JACK & THE BEANSTALK
    WHERE? Clyde Auditorium, SECC, Glasgow, (0844 395 4000/www.ticketsoup.com).
    WHEN? Until January 6.
    STAR ATTRACTION? John Barrowman and the Krankies
    WHAT’S IN THE STOCKING? Scottish-American actor, crooner, dancer, TV presenter and sometime heartthrob John Barrowman is back with the Krankies for the third year running in one of the UK’s most tested formulas.
    Despite his maturing years, multi-talented John plays young Jack, while husband-and-wife double act Ian and Janette Tough as the Krankies (thinly disguised as Farmer Trot and his son Jimmy) should help keep JB looking young!
    AUSTERITY FACTOR: £12-£27.50.

    CINDERELLA
    WHERE? Lyric Theatre, Hammersmith, London (020 8741 6834).
    WHEN? Until January 5.
    STAR ATTRACTION? Steven Webb, Julie Atherton and Mel Giedroyc.
    WHAT’S IN THE STOCKING? Always mild mannered and sweet faced with an incey-wincey twinkle in his eye, Steven Webb returns to the Lyric this year as Buttons for the third year in a row opposite rising West End starlet Julie Atherton as Cinders.
    Joining them is Mel Giedroyc from the Great British Bake Off as the Wicked Stepmother Mrs Hardup. Surely she should have been Sarah The Cook!
    But maybe she’ll know how to keep Cinders busy in the kitchen so that just this once she won’t make it to the ball.
    Which reminds me — why is Cinderella no good at football?
    Answer: because her coach was a pumpkin!
    AUSTERITY FACTOR: £12.50-£35; family tickets £60-£80.


    Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2247837/Priscilla-Presley-panto-Oh-yes---shes-star-whos-dame-laugh.html#ixzz2FCrwXPDl
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